Resources for Children
This Page is for Kids too
When Your Family Is Going Through Change
Divorce, separation, changes in where a child lives, court proceedings, guardianship, and conflict between adults can be confusing for children. Children may have questions about what is happening, why adults are going to court, whether they will have to choose between their parents, or whether something that is happening in their family is their fault.
This page provides age-appropriate resources to help children understand family changes, the court system, and difficult family situations.
Children should never be expected to solve adult problems, choose sides between people they love, or carry messages between adults.
Divorce Guide for Children
Coping with Separation
Going to Court Coloring Book
Wisconsin Courts Activity Book - What’s Happening in Court?
Hawaiʻi Volcanoes National Park
Mallows Bay–Potomac River National Marine Sanctuary Activity Book
Going to Court in Wisconsin
What’s Happening in Court?
The Wisconsin Court System publishes What’s Happening in Court?, an activity book created specifically for children who may be involved in or visiting a Wisconsin court.
It explains:
what happens inside a courthouse;
who the judge and other people in court are;
what family court does;
what happens when children or families are involved in a court case;
courtroom rules; and
common words children may hear during a court proceeding.
The guide includes activities, drawings, and explanations intended to make the court system less unfamiliar to children.
When Parents Separate or Divorce
Parents sometimes decide that they cannot continue living together. A separation or divorce changes the family, but it does not change the fact that a child remains a child of both parents.
Children experiencing separation or divorce may feel sad, angry, worried, relieved, confused, or many different emotions at the same time.
Some important things for children to remember are:
You do not have to fix the problems between adults.
You are allowed to love both of your parents.
You should not have to choose one parent over the other.
You are allowed to have questions.
It is okay to tell a trusted adult how you feel.
Adults, not children, are responsible for making adult decisions.
If your parents disagree about where you will live or how much time you will spend with each parent, those decisions are ultimately the responsibility of the adults and the court.
National Step-father Resource Center
Between Two Homes
What Is a Guardian ad Litem?
Sometimes a Wisconsin court appoints an attorney called a guardian ad litem, often called a GAL, when adults disagree about important decisions involving a child.
A GAL does not represent either parent.
The GAL's job is to investigate the circumstances of the family and make recommendations to the court concerning what the GAL believes is in the child's best interests.
A GAL may speak with:
the child;
parents and caregivers;
teachers;
counselors;
doctors;
relatives; and
other people who know the family.
A GAL may ask a child about school, home, family relationships, activities, worries, and other parts of the child's life.
You Do Not Have to Pick a Parent
Talking with a GAL is not an election between Mom and Dad.
Children should feel free to talk honestly about their experiences, including things they enjoy, things that bother them, and things they wish adults understood.
Learn More About Guardians ad Litem
When There Is Fighting or Violence at Home
Arguments between adults can be frightening. Domestic violence can involve much more than physical violence. It can include threats, intimidation, controlling behavior, destruction of property, stalking, financial control, or other conduct intended to frighten or control another person.
Children who see, hear, or otherwise experience domestic violence can be affected even when they are not physically injured.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, together with Futures Without Violence, publishes a series of resources for families affected by domestic violence. The materials address children's fears, talking to children about violence, children's reactions to violence, safety, difficult behavior, and maintaining relationships following domestic violence.
Children and Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Handbook for Wisconsin Child Welfare Professionals
Children and Domestic Violence — Complete Parent Fact-Sheet
Your Guide to Parents’ Rights & Responsibilities
National Child Traumatic Stress Network
Resources include:
How Does Domestic Violence Affect Children?
Listening and Talking to Your Child About Domestic Violence
Keeping Your Children Safe and Responding to Their Fears
Celebrating Your Child's Strengths
Helping Your Child Navigate a Relationship With the Abusive Parent
Managing Challenging Behavior of Children Living With Domestic Violence
Where to Turn If You Are Worried About Your Child
If You Are Worried About Something Happening to You
Children have a right to be safe.
If someone is hurting you, threatening you, touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, asking you to keep frightening secrets, or making you feel unsafe, you can tell an adult you trust.
That person might be:
a parent or other relative;
teacher;
school counselor;
coach;
doctor or nurse;
therapist;
social worker;
police officer; or
another adult you trust.
If the first person you tell does not help, tell another adult.
If you believe that you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911.
When You Feel Overwhelmed
Family conflict can sometimes become overwhelming. Older children and teenagers may experience anxiety, sadness, anger, hopelessness, or feel that there is nobody they can talk to.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available throughout the United States by calling or texting 988.
You do not need to wait until a situation becomes an emergency to ask someone for help.
For Parents and Caregivers
Children generally benefit when the adults around them allow them to remain children.
Whenever it can safely be done, parents should avoid:
asking a child to choose between parents;
discussing litigation strategy with a child;
asking a child to report what happens in the other parent's home;
using a child to carry messages;
showing a child pleadings, affidavits, text messages, or other litigation materials for the purpose of influencing the child's opinion;
criticizing the other parent in the child's presence; or
repeatedly questioning a child about what the child told a GAL, counselor, social worker, or other professional.
A child's feelings are important. At the same time, children should not be placed in the position of deciding legal disputes between adults.
When a child is struggling with a family transition, a qualified counselor, therapist, school counselor, pediatrician, or other child-development professional may also be an appropriate source of support.
Additional Resources for Families
Guth Law of South Central Wisconsin provides additional educational materials concerning:
Wisconsin Custody & Physical Placement
What Does a Guardian ad Litem Do?
Changing Custody or Placement After Divorce
Wisconsin Divorce & Legal Separation
Domestic Abuse & Restraining Orders
From the Web:
A Note About These Resources
The resources on this page are provided for general education and support. External resources are created and maintained by the organizations identified above. Guth Law of South Central Wisconsin, LLC does not control the content of external websites.
Nothing on this page is intended to provide legal advice to a child or adult regarding a particular case. Every family situation is different.
Guth Law of South Central Wisconsin, LLC
Come As You Are, every person, every spectrum.